I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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