Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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