On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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