The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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