Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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