I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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