How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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