hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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