So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
