I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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