i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
