If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
