Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize