We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
