I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
this hospital has no fireball
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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