You really coming over, don't trick.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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