Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
