I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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