Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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