PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
