I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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