Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
