my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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