on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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