god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
