arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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