The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
