ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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