My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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