Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
