Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
