elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
