ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
