is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize