I hate your face
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
