5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
