well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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