i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
