i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
