You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
