I'm eating all of the evidence.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize