I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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