I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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