Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize