You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
