Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
