I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
that's an acceptable place to lick
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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