hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
