There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
