My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
