Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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