loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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