I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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