Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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