So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
