what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
worst night to have a conscience
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
