It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize