just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
