His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
