READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
