Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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