I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
