just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
