I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize