that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
