ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
