Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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