Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
