no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize