She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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