Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize