Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
