My room smells like vodka and shame
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
