That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize