You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize