i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
