I just made out with a guy for $7.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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