I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I love having hate sex.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
