What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
