She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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